Where did it all begin? I guess my real fitness/yoga journey began in 2010.
2010 was a big year for me! I became a certified fitness instructor even though I was terrified! My husband convinced me that I had something special to offer class participants...I had been very over weight for all of adult life. I had lost 85lbs and kept it off all on my own, never even setting foot into a gym! So I jumped off my edge and went for it and became certified in November 2010 and began teaching bootcamp style classes and the local YMCA and I LOVED it!
In December 2010 I knew I wanted something more...I just couldn't figure out what it was. I had heard about this awesome hot yoga class in my town and thought I would give it a try.
So on a cold, snowy saturday morning I went to the yoga studio, never having done real yoga (previously, I had only done yoga dvd's in my basement) I had no idea what to expect and I remember actually feeling neasous! I was so nervous about this class...what if I couldn't do any of the poses? What if I didn't know the names of the poses we were doing? What if? What if? What if? I went anyways and met a wonderful woman named Megan! She is the instructor there and she is the most welcoming and friendly person I have met!
She showed me how to set my mat up and get the tools (blocks and straps) that we may use during the class. The class was very full and she still took the time to help get me get settled. As I sat there waiting for the class to start more and more people came in and she welcomed them all just the same, and helped everyone who needed it!
I was at the back of the class and it was hot in there! I think I was sweating before the class even began! Megan told us to get into downward dog (phew! I know this one!) and we held it as we came into our breath and we held it there. . . for a LONG time! at least 2 or 3 minutes! My arms were shaking and my abs ached but my ego wouldn't let me take child's pose (even though Megan had offered that modification).
I worked through that first class, pushing myself harder then I had ever done before. I worked hard but not hard like a yogi, hard like a fitness instructor. I pushed my physical body but I didn't open up my heart and soul. I loved that class! I had never felt like that before, I was soaked with sweat, my arms and legs felt like jello and my abs ached when I laughed!
I decided to attend class every saturday morning, I was committed. I had found what I was looking for!
I remember one class when at the end there was a girl in headstand and I just watched her and thought to myself 'I am going to be able to do that!' but I had to start off slower, lol. So I decided I would learn crow pose and go home and practice and practice until I got it. I remember feeling frustrated and getting mad that I couldn't do it when everyone else seemed able to do it. I was strong enough to do, I just had to practice.
I remember the first time I got crow in class...it was the first time I let go of the competition and my expectations and just let my body do its thing, and I did it! I held crow for 5 full deep beautiful breaths and jumped back into low plank and flowed through the vinyasa! It was wonderful! It was at that exact moment that I realized that my head had been getting in the way of the beauty of my practice. I was there every saturday for 6 weeks before I finally 'got it'.
I can now do crow, flying crow and headstand along with many other balance poses, but that is not what yoga is to me....yoga is just being there. Even if the only pose you can master that class is child's pose!
Namaste,
Lisa
